Holly, MichiganSatire EditionMonday, August 17, 2026

The morgue

Story Archive

Every dispatch preserved for posterity, accountability, and future historians who make several unfortunate assumptions.

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the historic Holly Union Depot story image

Holly Saves Historic Depot, Asks Public To Help Determine What Exactly It Has Been Saved For

History & PreservationAugust 17, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly Farmers Market and 3D-printed dragon vendors story image

Holly Farmers Market Phases Out Remaining Farmers To Make Room For More 3D-Printed Dragon Vendors

Community LifeAugust 14, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly Village Council campaign story image

Holly Candidate Running On Radical Platform Of Lower Taxes, Better Roads And Not Being Current Councilmember

Village HallAugust 13, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly long-term financial crisis story image

Holly Receives Good News That Financial Crisis Is Still Approximately 10 Years Away

Village HallAugust 12, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Battle Alley historical reenactment story image

Holly Unveils Initiative To Put Battle Back In Battle Alley

History & PreservationAugust 12, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the backyard burn permit and Baphomet story image

Village Officials Forced To Clarify Burn Permit Does Not Cover Demonic Assistance

Village HallAugust 10, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the restored 1970 Chevelle at the downtown car show

Local Man Brings 1970 Chevelle Downtown So 46 Strangers Can Tell Him Their Brother Had One

Community LifeAugust 7, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the marijuana retailers and downtown social district story image

Village Reassures Residents Marijuana Stores Will Be Kept Safely Away From Downtown Outdoor Drinking Area

Downtown & DevelopmentAugust 5, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the ceremonial First Unboiled Glass story image

Holly Concludes Second Annual Boil Water Festival With Ceremonial First Unboiled Glass

Streets & UtilitiesAugust 4, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly Township special election story image

Holly Holds Special Election To Replace Four Park Commissioners Who Forgot To Become Park Commissioners

Village HallAugust 4, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the second Taco Bell replacing the former Wendy’s story image

Former Wendy’s To Be Demolished To Make Way For Second Taco Bell

Downtown & DevelopmentAugust 3, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Second Annual Boil Water Festival story image

Holly Announces Second Annual Boil Water Festival Just 12 Days After First

Streets & UtilitiesAugust 1, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly Schools monorail story image

Holly Schools Unveil Monorail System After Student Drop-Off Lines Exceed Capacity Of Roads

Community LifeAugust 1, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Holly resident complaining about becoming Fenton story image

Local Man Who Drives To Fenton Every Weekend Begs Holly Not To Become Fenton

Downtown & DevelopmentJuly 31, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the seven-inch grass nuisance story image

Village Declares Seven-Inch Blade Of Grass Threat To Public Health, Safety, And Welfare

Village HallJuly 30, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Sherman Street historic pothole story image

Village Adds Sherman Street Pothole To Historic Register After Learning It Predates Current Council

Streets & UtilitiesJuly 30, 2026

Placeholder Battle Alley Bugle artwork; replace with a description of the Crapo Park historical marker story image

Holly Unveils Historical Marker, Gives Residents 48 Hours To Determine Why It Is Wrong

History & PreservationJuly 29, 2026

Holly Unveils Conceptual Rendering Of Large Empty Space Being Slightly Less Empty

Downtown & DevelopmentJuly 29, 2026

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