Est. 2026 · Serving Battle Alley and several comment sections beyond
Battle Alley BugleSatire and parody from Holly, Michigan. Nothing here should be mistaken for actual reporting, including by people who mistake Facebook comments for municipal law.
Satire about Holly government, ordinances, elections, public finance, permits, and civic bureaucracy.
Following renewed debate over a previously completed DDA advertising purchase, Holly officials announced the creation of a new municipal department responsible for approving things that have already happened.
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Members of the Holly Village Council have completed their back-to-school portraits, allowing residents to begin the new academic year knowing exactly what their elected officials would look like in a particularly…
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Following the launch of its new “Ask Holly” online question-and-answer service, the Village of Holly has expanded the program with a door-to-door team of chrome skeletal murder robots capable of answering routine…
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The Battle Alley Bugle asked every candidate for Holly Village President and Village Council the same six questions.
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The Battle Alley Bugle asked every candidate for Holly Village President and Village Council the same six questions.
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The Battle Alley Bugle asked every candidate for Holly Village President and Village Council the same six questions.
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On September 2, the Battle Alley Bugle sent six questions to candidates seeking office in the Village of Holly. We intend to publish their answers and then allow the article to end.
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A local candidate suspended his campaign this week after voters concluded his sad clown persona had become a problem.
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Citing continued budget constraints and the rising cost of maintaining separate municipal departments, the Village of Holly has formally outsourced several essential services to the Paw Patrol, a six-dog emergency…
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Citing growing demand for government transparency, the Village of Holly announced Wednesday the launch of Holly FOIA, a new subscription service that automatically sends residents public records they were probably going…
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A Holly Village Council candidate drew support with a platform of lower taxes, better roads, transparency, and fewer business obstacles, before questions about how to accomplish all of those things at once briefly complicated the campaign.
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A long-term financial analysis gave Holly officials the reassuring news that the Village may still have roughly a decade before its General Fund reaches crisis, while roads, utilities, and other capital needs continue patiently waiting their turn.
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Village officials clarified that Holly’s open burning permits do not authorize residents to summon Baphomet or other occult entities for ignition assistance, despite the apparent effectiveness of the method.
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Holly Township voters returned to the polls after four residents elected to the Parks Commission in 2024 missed the oath deadline, leaving officials to add reminders that winning office is only the first step in actually holding it.
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Village officials warned residents that grass exceeding six inches had crossed from ordinary vegetation into a threat to public health, safety, comfort, and welfare, with enforcement measures ready for any lawn refusing to comply.
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